Movie Review: Tum Mile (2009)
2 Stars (out of 4)
It’s unfortunate that Tum Mile — a rare Bollywood disaster movie — was released on the same weekend in the U.S. as the Hollywood disaster epic, 2012. Scenes of catastrophe take a backseat to romance in Tum Mile, and the characters never really seem to be in mortal danger. It’s the obvious second choice for theater-goers looking for thrills.
The action in Tum Mile takes place on July 26, 2005, the day historic rainfall swamped Mumbai, causing mass strandings and over 1000 deaths. Think of the destruction Hurricane Katrina caused to New Orleans about one month later — only in a city with 28 times more people than pre-Katrina New Orleans.
Lead characters Akshay (Emraan Hashmi) and Sanjanan(Soha Ali Khan) meet unexpectedly on a plane bound for Mumbai. They used to be lovers, but they haven’t spoken in several years, since a painful breakup. They exchange business cards upon landing and go their separate ways, as the rain begins to fall.
The bulk of the film consists of flashbacks chronicling the couple’s initial meeting, obstacles to their relationship and their eventual breakup. It’s more detailed than is necessary to show that Akshay and Sanjana still harbor feelings for each other.
In fact, the excess of backstory has the effect of making Akshay an unsympathetic hero. While dating, Akshay first resents Sanjana for financing his floundering art career. When he follows her advice and gets an office job, he resents her for making him abandon his art.
At one point, Sanjana asks, “Why does he have to make it so hard for me to love him?”. Khan plays Sanjana as understanding and self-confident, and it’s hard to believe that she’d still have feelings for him after so many years.
The present-day story arc kicks in when Mumbai’s streets start to flood, and Akshay gets a sense that Sanjana is in danger. He sets out to search for her in the rain. On foot. In a city of 14 million people.
Miraculously, he finds her after she’s escaped from a flooding car — not that the audience actually gets to see her escape. One minute she’s in a flooding car, and the next minute, she’s walking through the flooding streets. Rule #1 of disaster movies: show the escape.
Akshay and his buddy, Vic, take shelter with Sanjana on a stalled bus to wait for the waters to recede. A tree falls on the bus, threatening to roll the bus on its side, blocking the main doors. Everyone on the bus panics as though death is imminent, though an inconvenient escape via the rear exit or windows seems the worst likely outcome of a tipped bus.
While floods are unquestionably deadly, the “danger” in Tum Mile never feels very dangerous. In Titanic — a movie that clearly inspired Tum Mile, right down to the scenes of the male lead painting the female protagonist’s portrait — the ship is in danger of sinking to the bottom of the ocean. The prospect of a bus rolling on its side in four feet of water on a city street isn’t nearly as terrifying.
1 comment November 15, 2009
Movie Review: Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani (2009)
3 Stars (out of 4)
Ajab Prem Ki Ghazab Kahani is the next step in the transformation of Bollywood slapstick comedies into an internationally-viable form of entertainment: it’s actually funny.
Ranbir Kapoor plays Prem, president of The Happy Club, a sort of fraternity that’s a pretext for Prem and his friends to goof around, funded by money gently extorted from their parents. The club’s mission is to make people happy and unite separated lovers, and the group occasionally acts on its mission statement.
It’s during one of the attempts to unite two lovers — by way of kidnapping — that Prem meets Jenny (Katrina Kaif), a pretty girl destined to become the love of his life. There are obstacles to their union, including the fact that jobless Prem isn’t prime marriage material, nor is he the only one trying to win her heart. Plus, he’s too petrified to tell Jenny how he feels about her.
Ranbir Kapoor is the reason APKGK succeeds. Had Prem been played by frequent Hindi comedy leads Akshay Kumar or Salman Khan (who has a cameo that acknowledges his real-life romance with Kaif), Prem would get his way by slapping any friends or enemies who object to his plans. Because Kumar and Khan have muscular physiques, directors feel the need to put those muscles to use, even when it’s not funny or appropriate.
Tall and lanky, Kapoor makes Prem relatable. He gets his way by outsmarting his opponents and convincing his friends to help him; he’s not a bully. When watching comedies starring Kumar or Khan, I often wonder why their on-screen pals stick around, since they get thrashed as much as the bad guys.
APKGK relies on well-written jokes instead of crude sound effects like flatulence or slide whistles (one of my least favorite Bollywood gimmicks). By keeping the effects to a minimum, it forces the actors to make the situation funny, rather than relying on an auditory cue to alert the audience when something is supposed to be funny.
The movie has two faults that plague modern Bollywood comedies. First, it doesn’t know when to end a joke. The climactic showdown with the requisite gangsters is twice as long as it should be. Seeing someone lifted up by a jet of steam can be funny the first time; by the fourth time, it’s boring.
APKGK’s second problem is more troubling, especially for international audiences. During a scene in which Jenny is being pressured to marry a lout named Tony, the prospective groom’s father says to Jenny, in essence, “Either you marry Tony willingly, or he’ll take you to his bedroom and make you his wife.”
Whoa! When did this stop being a comedy? Surely, the filmmakers intended only for the scene to make it clear that Prem needs to rescue Jenny ASAP, but the statement is so disgusting and out of proportion that it stops the flow of the movie completely.
While I don’t think any topic is off-limits in comedy, rape references in comedies should at least acknowledge the immorality of the act. The threat of rape is used so casually in APKGK (as it also was in Wanted) that it almost comes across as a viable way of making women compliant. International movie-goers (like me) may wonder if such threats are considered acceptable in India.
3 comments November 9, 2009
Movie Review: London Dreams (2009)
Zero Stars (out of 4)
2008’s Rock On!! is a great Hindi film about a rock band and the tensions that develop between band members. Though London Dreams is also about problems within a rock band, it’s every bit as bad as Rock On!! is good: shallow and lacking an understanding of human emotions.
London Dreams is about Arjun, a Punjabi boy who dreams of becoming a great musician. However, his family hates music, blaming that particular form of entertainment for the death of Arjun’s grandfather.
When Arjun’s father dies — an event Arjun interprets as divine confirmation of his musical destiny — the boy moves to London with his uncle. Arjun runs away in the airport and buys his way into a music school with pocket change. (What? It could happen.)
As an adult, Arjun (Ajay Devgan) is so singularly focused on his goal of headlining Wembley Stadium that he won’t let anything distract him, going to far as to whip himself with a belt to suppress his sexual urges for his backup dancer, Priya (Asin Thottumkal). Arjun’s band, London Dreams, takes England by storm, even though their music is mediocre.
Arjun’s childhood friend, Mannu (Salman Khan), leaves his life of philandering in Punjab to live with his pal in London. For kicks, Arjun invites Mannu to perform on stage with London Dreams.
There’s a freak confetti accident during the performance, and Arjun gestures to Mannu to take over as frontman. Turns out, slacker Mannu is a more charismatic singer than Arjun. Mannu gets all of the accolades, as well as Priya’s affections, and Arjun sets about trying to destroy his best friend and take back the spotlight for himself.
Overall, London Dreams is a sloppy movie. The same footage is used for concerts that are supposed to take place separately in London, Paris and Rome; try to spot the girl in the blue basketball jersey in the crowd at all three concerts.
Worse, the band members barely even pretend to play their instruments. The old, mohawked drummer never comes within an inch of the cymbals he’s supposed to be playing. Heck, he’s not even an official member of the band, which consists of two singers, two guitarists and a backup dancer. It’s impossible for them to produce the music that makes up the movie’s soundtrack; it should have also been impossible for Mannu to auto-tune his own voice without the aid of a microphone and computer.
Trumping all of the movie’s other problems, the lead characters in London Dreams are deplorable. Arjun is a sociopath, and Mannu’s alternately a promiscuous lout and a simpleton. Their relationship with each other doesn’t develop, and Arjun never faces any consequences for being a terrible person.
Skip London Dreams and rent Rock On!! If nothing else, the music’s better.
1 comment November 3, 2009
Movie Review: Aladin (2009)
3 Stars (out of 4)
There aren’t many kid-friendly Bollywood movies released in the United States, and those that have opened here, like Saawariya and Roadside Romeo, have disappointed. Aladin is a delightful update of the classic fairytale that will amuse the whole family.
In this live action version of the story — which differs significantly from the animated Disney film — Aladin (Ritesh Deshmukh) is a lonely college student. His parents died under mysterious circumstances when he was young, and he lives alone in the book-littered home of his deceased grandfather. Fellow students tease him because of his name, demanding that he produce a genie from a lamp like the fairytale dictates.
Aladin’s crush on Jasmine (Jacqueline Fernandez), an American exchange student, appears destined to go unrequited until she buys him a lamp from the “Ancient Thing Store” as a birthday gift. He’s goaded into rubbing the lamp which, naturally, contains a genie.
The genie, named Genius (Amitabh Bachchan) is close to retirement and is eager for Aladin to use his three wishes before his genie contract gets renewed for another million years. The duo sets about trying to woo Jasmine on Aladin’s behalf. But Genius doesn’t know that Aladin is in danger from an evil ex-genie named Ring Master (Sanjay Dutt), who’s eager to regain his powers and take over the world.
One of Aladin’s best features is that it looks terrific. The fictional town of Khwaish is a perfect fantasy city: narrow cobblestoned streets that wind uphill through buildings made of sand-colored bricks. Dance numbers are colorful and the special effects are relatively seamless.
As for the characters and plot, writer-director-producer Sujoy Ghosh keeps the story true to tradition, while giving it his own spin. Deshmukh does a great job as Aladin, a likable guy with such simple desires that he’s incapable of misusing his new-found power.
Ring Master is also a fitting villain. His motives are clear, and he’s got a group of creepy circus-inspired henchmen to help him, including a lion tamer, a firebreather and, inexplicably, a Star Trek Klingon.
The writing in Aladin is solid, especially for a Bollywood comedy (see my review of Deshmukh’s other recent film, Do Knot Disturb). Several scenes are laugh-out-loud funny, and there are no extraneous plot threads or characters.
For parents of children who don’t understand Hindi, Aladin is a good introduction to movies with English subtitles, even if it is long at 2 hrs. 12 min. The story is familiar, so all that’s required is that the child be old enough to read English with some speed: third or fourth grade, perhaps. There’s no objectionable material, and no “gross” kissing (this is Bollywood, after all).
One note to parents who themselves aren’t familiar with Bollywood films: it’s worth telling kids that Amitabh Bachchan, who plays the genie, is one of the coolest guys in Indian cinema. He was an action star when he was younger and has always been a lady’s man. It’s the only way to explain why a man old enough to be a grandfather is rapping about “shorties.”
Add comment October 31, 2009
Movie Review: All The Best (2009)
1 Star (out of 4)
For the first two hours, All The Best is a tolerable if uninspired slapstick comedy. But, due to the movie’s racist final scene, it’s not worth watching.
The movie focuses on aspiring rock star Vir (Fardeen Khan), who lives off of the largess of his globe-trotting step-brother, Dharam (Sanjay Dutt). In order to get a larger monthly allowance from Dharam, Vir tells his brother that his girlfriend, Vidya (Mugdha Godse), is actually his wife.
Since the two brothers rarely see each other, the lie goes unchallenged until Dharam lands in town for a layover on his way to the small African country of Lesotho. The layover turns into an extended stay when the country experiences a military coup.
Vir turns to his best friend, Prem (Ajay Devgan), for help. Since this is a comedy, all of Prem’s ideas to deceive Dharam make things worse, especially when Dharam mistakes Prem’s wife, Jhanvi (Bipasha Basu), for Vir’s pretend wife, Vidya.
The bulk of the humor centers on mistaken identities and the friends’ attempts to keep the truth from hot-tempered Dharam. Basu and Ashwini Kalsekar, who plays Vir’s maid, Mary, are the most successful at generating laughs.
But All The Best falls back on the same cliche seen in many recent Bollywood comedies: gangsters. If one were to form an impression of modern India based solely on Hindi cinema, India would seem as overrun with gangsters as Chicago was in the 1920s, only with the gangsters more inept and less threatening than their American predecessors.
The most pathetically unfunny of the bunch is Topu (Johny Lever), the mute gang leader. He communicates with his lackeys by banging a spoon against a glass, as though he were trying to get a newly-married couple to kiss at their wedding reception. It’s the stupidest gimmick since the mute villain in Karzzzz, who communicated via a musical keypad on his wrist.
Such lame gimmicks might be forgivable, if not for the movie’s final scene, involving several characters from Lesotho. They speak in something that’s supposed to sound like Swahili, even though Swahili isn’t an official language of Lesotho. I can’t prove it, but I’m guessing the filmmakers didn’t spring to hire an actual Swahili translator, and that the words are just gibberish that’s supposed to sound “African.”
If that weren’t insulting enough, three of the characters are Indian actors — including Bipasha Basu — in blackface make up. Coming just a few weeks after American musician Harry Connick Jr. took an Australian comedy troupe to task for the same offense, All The Best’s racist attempt at humor comes off as particularly crude.
For Indian cinema to be taken seriously in the rest of the world, it needs to drop these outdated, racist jokes. Bollywood’s top stars need to lead the way. Bipasha Basu should have refused to perform the scene in blackface, just as Akshay Kumar should’ve said no to his blackface scene in Kambakkht Ishq.
1 comment October 27, 2009
Movie Review: Main Aurr Mrs. Khanna (2009)
1 Star (out of 4)
Main Aurr Mrs. Khanna aspires to be a moving drama about marital fidelity, but it lacks the emotional maturity to achieve its goal.
The movie focuses on the troubled marriage of Australian residents Samir (Salman Khan) and Raina Khanna (Kareena Kapoor). Samir, who is depressed because he can’t find a job, distances himself from Raina, who’s worried on his behalf. He decides that his only option is to leave Melbourne and try his luck in Singapore.
Raina is sad about leaving her friends and her job as a waitress, but she goes to the airport with her husband. There, he springs the news on her that she won’t be joining him in Singapore. Instead, she’s going to live with his disapproving parents in Delhi. The movie never explains why this is necessary; the decision only serves to prove that Samir is controlling.
Raina decides not to board the flight to Delhi. A waiter at an airport cafe, Akash (Sohail Khan), helps her start her new, solo life in Melbourne. Raina declares that she’s just killing time until Samir makes his fortune and returns for her, but Akash falls for her anyway.
Here, Main Aurr Mrs. Khanna takes an audacious turn: nothing unexpected happens. There are no twists, no moments where a character makes a life-changing decision. Samir succeeds and returns for Raina, and she goes with him. That’s it.
I don’t feel bad revealing those plot details because the movie is very clear about what is going to happen. Raina never — not even for an instant — expresses the slightest romantic interest in Akash. She doesn’t even realize he has a crush on her. If she did, it would force her consider him as a sexual partner, thereby destroying the image of the ideal woman that Raina is supposed to represent: somewhat independent but unquestionably devoted to her husband.
The characters lack depth not just from the way they’re written, but also from the way they are acted. When Akash reveals the pain he felt when his parents divorced, Raina responds with an inappropriate smile.
Debutant writer and director Prem Soni has a lot to learn. (Lesson #1: Why comic barnyard sound effects have no place in a relationship drama.) This first effort is a bland movie full of emotional simpletons. I fear that, if Soni wrote an adaptation of The Little Mermaid, the story would read like this: “A mermaid wanted to become a human, so she did. The End.”
*In its opening weekend, Main Aurr Mrs. Khanna earned $121,134 in U.S. theaters.
Add comment October 19, 2009
